Week Six

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted anything. I'm finding the fatigue is a real problem now. I often sit down to the keyboard only to almost immediately drift off. I hope you've all still been following my progress through my husband's blog, Views From The Passenger Seat

Week six did not start as I expected but it is looking like it will end better than we all expected!

Monday was a day of tears.

Firstly, tears over the incredible generosity we received from Steve's work colleagues. They presented us with an enormous Christmas food hamper and also raised so much money for our little family, "so you can spoil the boys and each other and really enjoy Christmas together." What a real privilege it is to be the recipient of such love and kindness. I really don't feel that saying, "Thank you", was anywhere near enough to express our gratitude for all they have done for us.

Secondly, tears over my time at the hospital in the afternoon. We arrived for my treatment with me shivering. Seems I had developed a fever so the Doctor said no treatment that day. I spent the next hour being gently cleaned up by the lovely nurse Stacey. She removed all the muck from my neck (eww! I don't know if I could do her job) and redressed it with more purple stuff.  I was so disappointed at having to have that break in my treatment. They wanted to admit me as an inpatient but I really didn't want to do that. I just wanted to be home with my family.  So there was a huge sigh of relief when they allowed me a compromise. They wouldn't admit me if I went straight home and into bed. Strict orders to do nothing but rest and take Panadol every four hours to ensure that fever dropped. By 9pm it had thankfully gone and I was feeling back to 'normal'.

My side effects are so severe that it's been "touch'n'go" all week as to whether or not I am admitted into hospital, and whether or not the treatment would go ahead each day. My throat and mouth continue to be ulcerated with new ulcers now on the end of my tongue feeling particularly sore. I also have new sores on my lips, despite constantly using the balm. My neck is raw and purple! My right ear has sores on it now, I can't wear my earrings and I think the holes have closed over.

We got a phone call from the Dr last night, all the way from his family holiday overseas!  He was ringing to check on how I was going and to say he'd received an update about my condition from the Consultant and Registrar back here. They had informed him of our meeting yesterday where we had discussed my treatment options. He wanted to reassure me that what was presented to me was a very good option and that I really didn't need to worry about anything. The Consultant and Registrar had both suggested that as I was having a heightened sensitivity to the treatment and was reacting so severely that the cancer cells must also be effected severely (as they had originally come from my cells). The advise was to stop the treatment early, have 30 fractions rather than 33. They were confident that it wouldn't be compromising the long term treatment of the cancer but it would be a great compromise for the side effects. I was informed that the ulceration inside my mouth and the rawness of the wounds on my neck were at a stage that if we didn't stop I would be experiencing severe problems there for the rest of my life. So my last treatment is now Monday 24th December, Christmas Eve.

The week was also overshadowed by my youngest son and an operation he was scheduled to have on Tuesday to repair his hypospadias (Google it!). The surgery went well but understandably he was miserable Tuesday night and both Steve and I got very little sleep. The rest of his week has ebbed and flowed with him perking up by Thursday but then developing a fever and ending up at the Women's and Children's Hospital on Friday. Now we are administering antibiotics twice a day and Panadol every 6 hours. Of course, the antibiotics come with their own set of side effects and they are in turn making him more miserable. My parents have been an invaluable addition to our household this week, doing most of our household chores and helping Steve to look after Nate. Poor baby doesn't want to be put down much and just wants cuddles, especially when he needs to urinate. Steve is doing an amazing job looking after all three of our boys, particularly given he has had so little sleep this week.

I'm glad to see the end of this week and am really looking forward to moving into the next week. It will bring with it the next phase of healing for both myself and Nate. Plus it will bring Christmas. I really want to celebrate and make this a great day.