Food is such a big part of our lives. It is so much more than just our source of nutrition and sustenance. We use food to celebrate special events and occasions. As a family we meet around our dinner table each night. Lively conversations are had, discussing all the details of our day as we enjoy sharing the meal together. My lovely husband is a fantastic cook. (One of the many reasons I married him!!) He is more at home in the kitchen than in the garage and most nights you will find him at the stove whipping up something tasty for us all to eat.
Since Thursday I've thrown a spanner in the works for him at meal times. I can't taste anything. Nothing. No, that's not entirely true. I could still taste, just ever so slightly, blue vein cheese, anchovies, and coriander. It is the strangest thing to put something that I love the taste of into my mouth to find there is no taste. My mind is really struggling to comprehend it. So at the dinner table I offered up a differently worded thanks, "thank you for cooking, great textures"!
I saw the dietician on Friday and he's told me not to worry about eating fruits and vegetables or high protein foods. My body will use too much energy digesting the food rather than using that energy to fight the side effects of the treatment. So I've been told to eat junk food. Anything high in calories. He said if I start to lose weight they will need to insert a feeding tube. No thank you! I will eat. And I will eat junk! ......It's just really unfortunate that I can't taste it!
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I started writing this three days ago and I was about to delete it to start again because things have changed so drastically. But then I thought it was still a step in my journey.
My ability to enjoy food has completely gone down the hill. I now not only have no taste but it is so sore to eat, swallow, and talk. The oncologist has given me Panadene to take and has said by the end of the week I'll probably be on morphine just to manage the pain. It worries me to think of this getting that much more painful. I have a local anaesthetic to swish about my mouth 15 minutes before eating to try and make it easier. Although, if I can keep it in my mouth for the prescribed 30 seconds without gagging on it and spitting it out I've done well. It's consistency is not unlike a thick boogery slime. I found tonight that it didn't really help. It was a struggle to eat even mashed avocado. I found today was predominantly a smoothie day. The dietician did say smoothies were a good option. That might be my main diet for the next 6-8 weeks.
I saw the dentist this morning and she was pleased with my mouth. She said it was nice and clean. Now that it is just a mass of ulcers I need to take care to keep it clean to avoid infections. I can't actually brush my teeth any more due to the pain from the ulcers. First time I've ever had a dentist tell me not to brush! My world is topsy turvy! She has given me a mouth wash that will replace the brushing and a different anaesthetic to apply to the ulcers.
Today's treatment was a challenge with my mouth being so sore I found it difficult to get the mould into my mouth. My face is also slightly swollen so the mask was quite a snug fit. They ended up trimming a section of it from around my mouth just to make it fit without cutting into me.
My ability to enjoy food has completely gone down the hill. I now not only have no taste but it is so sore to eat, swallow, and talk. The oncologist has given me Panadene to take and has said by the end of the week I'll probably be on morphine just to manage the pain. It worries me to think of this getting that much more painful. I have a local anaesthetic to swish about my mouth 15 minutes before eating to try and make it easier. Although, if I can keep it in my mouth for the prescribed 30 seconds without gagging on it and spitting it out I've done well. It's consistency is not unlike a thick boogery slime. I found tonight that it didn't really help. It was a struggle to eat even mashed avocado. I found today was predominantly a smoothie day. The dietician did say smoothies were a good option. That might be my main diet for the next 6-8 weeks.
I saw the dentist this morning and she was pleased with my mouth. She said it was nice and clean. Now that it is just a mass of ulcers I need to take care to keep it clean to avoid infections. I can't actually brush my teeth any more due to the pain from the ulcers. First time I've ever had a dentist tell me not to brush! My world is topsy turvy! She has given me a mouth wash that will replace the brushing and a different anaesthetic to apply to the ulcers.
Today's treatment was a challenge with my mouth being so sore I found it difficult to get the mould into my mouth. My face is also slightly swollen so the mask was quite a snug fit. They ended up trimming a section of it from around my mouth just to make it fit without cutting into me.
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