Now That's Pouty

We saw the oncologist today before my treatment. He walked into the room, took one look at me and whistled saying, "Now that's pouty!"

My face is swollen. I have enormous lips. I'm sure there are some women out there that would pay a fortune to have such large and luscious lips, but me, I'd rather just have my regular lips back please. With all the swelling and ulcers I'm not able to eat anymore so I'm drinking plenty of smoothies throughout the day. 

The doctor feels that not only am I special enough to have such a rare cancer but I am also one of those rare people that has an extreme sensitivity to the radiation treatment. He said he really wouldn't have expected to see this level of reaction until at least the end of the fourth week. His feeling is that we continue to persevere with the treatment at this stage and just try and manage the effects as best as we can. If we were to stop the treatment to allow my body a chance to heal before resuming it would not be as effective in the long run. I think if I can continue to go on with all the extra assistance then I'd much rather get this over and done with.

The extra assistance....my medicine cupboard is ridiculously full. In fact it has overflowed to the top of our wardrobe. I have three mouth washes that I'm using approximately every two hours, one to keep my teeth clean, one to keep the ulcers at bay, and the other is a salt wash. I also have drops to prevent any yeast infections - now that the radiation is killing all the healthy bacteria apparently the bad bacteria can have a field day! I have three different types of local anaesthetics, one (hard to swallow) gel wash to swish and swallow, one liquid to just swish, and one topical to just daub where needed. I've moved past the Soluble Panadol, the Soluble Panadene, and the Panadene Forte, through to two different doses of Morphine. One is a slow release suspension and the other is a quick hit liquid. I now also have tablets to address the side effects of the morphine. Some to stop the nausea and some to help keep the other end going. I have lotion to help relieve my facial skin burning. Cream to help the acne that the radiation has caused (I feel like a spotty teen - who knew acne was a side effect!?!?!) Three different lip balms, admittedly I'm not using the one that is minty because it stings and I figure I have two others. Now, once I'm finished all my treatment I can then start using the myriad of other mouth washes, toothpastes, gels, and fake spit. All of which will compensate for my lack saliva.

After speaking to the oncologist today and hearing how he's surprised by my reaction I was definitely feeling pouty.  I keep telling myself it is only for a time but gee this is a horrible time. I had a beautiful friend stop by tonight with thick shakes and a voucher for our grocery bill. Thank you so much gorgeous girl! Now I know I don't really need to be pouty with such beautiful generosity!